Taylor Beard

My angel taylor taken away from us never forgotten.

Mummy and daddy had started trying for you after losing your brother sam the month before and we were both estatic to find out we had gotten pregnant with you so soon. You brought back the happiness we had before we lost your brother and mummy prayed that you would stay with us.

At 9 weeks mummy went for a scan to see if you were ok in there. The 22nd of July a day mummy will never forget. Daddy was out of town at this point but knew mummy was having a scan and told mummy he would be there but he never showed up. So yet again mummy was facing a scan on her own with only your sisters to keep mummy company. I couldnt bear to look at the screen and I sobbed when i heard those words no one wants to hear. I'm sorry but there is no heartbeat! I tried my hardest to hide my tears from your sisters they were too young to understand and I didnt want to burden them with my sadness when daddy should have been there!

Afterwards I rang him and found out he had slept in and missed his alarm mummy knew he had been out dribnking the night before and mummy will never forgive him for that.He knew how scared I was to go to this scan and I needed someone to hold my hand and he wasnt there.

A midwife came to speak to me about my options and mummy knew she couldnt bear to go through another natural miscarriage so she opted for a erpc. It was booked for the 25th July mummy was in such a mess til then. your auntie Ashley came down to watch your sisters while mummy and daddy went to the hospital. Daddy had said some horrible things to mummy the night before which again I can't ever forgive him for. I knew he was hurting too but he had a bit to drink and said some terrible things to me.

so the 25th july was the day we would say goodbye to you. Mummys heart was so heavy not only was she going through the pain of losing you she also was going through the pain of the things daddy said.

Mummy and daddy got to hospital and waited til it was time to go down to theatre. Mummy was so scared she had never been put to sleep before or had an operation and when she saw the anesthetist I was shaking and crying so much I thought I was having a panic attack. He reassured me though and the next thing I knew I was drifting off to sleep.

When I woke up I felt so strange I missed you so much but I felt at peace knownig you was in a better place.

Mummy is glad she asked for a scan photo of you as its the only thing I have left of you and I cherise it with all my heart.

Mummy thought you was a girl so we named you Taylor. Mummy will never forget you princess. You have your big brother and little sister in the clouds with you now and I am sure you are taking care of each other until mummy meets you all again.

I love you Taylor always missed never forgotten!!